we are unusual and tragic and alive

The sky was extraordinarily dark tonight and I was thinking about fireflies and how they would light up our summer nights spent memorizing each other- your body, your lips, your birthmarks, your scars, your voice, your words, your laugh. I was thinking about how it’s like slipping on ice, you lose your balance for just one split second and then you find yourself cold and confused and aching, looking up at the world like you’re no longer a part of it. I was thinking about how much it hurts sometimes, the unevenness of our emotions- my overwhelming feelings matched with your shrugs and eye rolls and scoffs, how sometimes it’s like someone is beating me down until I’m bruised and battered and no one even seems to notice. I was thinking about the fragility of life and how in the blink of an eye, I could lose everything, I could lose you. But mostly, I was thinking about the cold and how it seeps into your skin all the way down to your bones, how it forces you to go numb and feel things all at once- kind of like what you do to me.